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Talking about death with loved ones is one of the most difficult discussions to have, however, having open conversations about end-of-life wishes can help everyone involved. This is often avoided because we naturally want to protect each other’s feelings. Nonetheless, it is best to have these discussions before a life-threating illness strikes. Preparing in advance can significantly reduce the stress of making crucial end-of-life care decisions under pressure, helping you avoid uncertainty and anxiety later on.
Importance of communication end-of-life wishes
It’s not only important, it’s also helpful to discuss your end-of-life wishes with your loved ones, doctors, nurses and carers. Especially if you become unable to speak for yourself due to illness or injury. Communicating your wishes now allows you to make informed decisions that feel right for you. This doesn’t only apply for dying, it should be also about living. Let those close to you know what places you would like to visit, people you would like to speak with or write to, and experiences you wish for.
Know your thoughts before you share them
Take time to consider what matters most to you. It is helpful to write down your priorities and document your thoughts to make it easier to talk with your loved ones. This allows you to share your hopes, worries, fears and wishes openly.
Have a think about what someone caring for you would need to know:
- Daily preferences – for example foods you enjoy and the clothes you prefer to wear.
- Medical treatment preferences – this could be specific treatments you’d want to decline.
- Values and beliefs – any personal principles that should guide your care.
- End-of-life wishes – where you’d like to be cared for in your final days and hours, or who you’d want to be by your side.
Arrange a time to talk
It is a good idea to inform the person you’d like to talk to and let them know that you want to discuss something important, or even tell them exactly what’s on your mind. Prepare your talking points in advance of the conversation. This step helps clarify your intentions and ensures all key topics are addressed. When you do have a talk, choose a place that’s quite and free from distractions.
Be specific about your wishes
While initiating communicating end-of-life wishes can be challenging, you’ll often find they become easier as you go along. Although starting requires courage, it is a crucial step in ensuring others understand your wishes. The more you talk, the more comfortable everyone becomes, paving the way for heart-to-heart conversations about what matters to you.
How can friends and family help?
Friends and family are key partners in end-of-life planning. They help turn abstract wishes into clear actionable plans, making sure your choices and dignity are respected throughout their final journey through…
1. Facilitating open conversations
- initiating difficult talks
- creating comfortable and safe space where you feel empowered
- easing the burden of weighty dialogues by patiently revising topics
- active listening and asking thoughtful questions
2. Assisting with documentation
- helping with writing down wishes
- taking notes, organising thoughts
- help navigating legal forms
3. Providing emotional and practical support
- emotional presence and practical assistance
- navigating the healthcare system and managing logistics
- providing you reassurance that your values and beliefs will be honoured
What if you don’t have a family or friend to talk to?
If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about your wishes, or if it just feels like a conversation too difficult to have, you can still plan your future. You can record what’s important to you in writing and share this documentation directly with your doctor and healthcare team. You can also find support for discussing end-of-life wishes through various other channels. Local groups, such as faith communities or Death Cafes, offer spaces for open discussion.
Social services can advise on care entitlements and local resources. Additionally, many national charities and organisations provide helplines, information, and online forums dedicate to end-of-life support.
Speaking to you doctor, nurse or a caregiver is important, as they can help you understand your treatment options and think through your medical treatment decisions. This helps you clearly understand the consequences of every decision.
Lasting Power of Attorney
A Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare (LPA) can be a key part of end-of-life planning, which allows you to appoint someone you trust to make decisions about your health and welfare. Age UK have some helpful advice regarding setting up LPA, click here for more information.
Advance Statement
An Advance Statement is a non-binding document that outlines your personal wishes regarding your health and well-being. This could be anything from your lifestyle preferences, to type of care you’d prefer, and what you consider and acceptable quality of life. Even though healthcare professionals are not legally obliged to follow an Advance Statement, they must consider your expressed wishes when making a decision on your behalf.
LPA and Advance Statement only come into effect if you are unable to make or communicate decisions for yourself. You have the option of choosing either or having both.
How can Cavendish Homecare help?
At Cavendish Homecare we are experts in providing end-of-life for clients who want to remain in their own homes. When it comes to your health and well-being, choosing the right homecare package is of utmost importance and navigating this process can be challenging. With Cavendish Homecare by your side, you’ll have the support you need to remain safely at home while enjoying elevated health and wellbeing.
If you would like to enquire about our end-of-life, contact us on, 02030085210 or email us at info@cavendishhomecare.com.