Protecting your loved ones from confusion and distress

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Key Takeaways

Listen without judging

Give them space to speak and stay calm. Focus on their feelings rather than trying to ‘fix’ their thoughts or argue about facts.

Offer practical admin help

Easing the mental load makes a big difference. Help your loved ones book appointments, write down questions for the GP, or organise their medication.

Respect their dependence

Adults have the right to make their own choices. Always try to help them decide for themselves rather than taking over completely.

Prioritise your own wellbeing

You cannot support someone else if you are exhausted. Set clear boundaries and seek a Carer’s Assessment for extra support.

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When your loved one acts differently to their usual self, it is natural to worry. They might seem withdrawn, confused or distressed. It may be tempting to try to ‘fix’ things immediately. However, supporting them requires a gentle touch.

The best approach is to balance practical help with patient listening. Here is how you can provide the best support while protecting their dignity.

Start with listening

Communication is your most vital tool. Age UK suggests starting with a simple, relaxed chat. This is often the best way to understand what is truly happening.

Be patient

Do not rush them; let them set the pace of the talk.

Avoid assumptions

For example, if your loved one stops eating, it may be for various reasons. It could be low mood, or perhaps just a struggle to get to the shops.

Stay calm

Your calmness helps them feel safe. It encourages them to be honest about their feelings without fear of upsetting you.

Dealing with confusion and unusual beliefs

Seeing your loved one experience delusions or feeling paranoid is upsetting. Here are some steps for these difficult moments:

1. Acknowledge their feelings

Avoid arguing about the facts. If they feel, for example, that they are being followed, you can say: “I can see you feel very frightened.” By doing this you are validating their fear without agreeing with the delusion.

2. Do not dismiss them

Never laugh or mock their worries. This would break their trust and could cause more distress.

3. Set gentle boundaries

If they dwell on a particular worry, try limiting discussing it. Use hobbies or other topics to distract them.

Practical tips to protect your loved ones

Help with admin

Offer to jot down questions for their GP. You could also help organise their prescriptions or appointment notes.

Go to appointments

Suggest that you will sit in the waiting room. A second pair of ears can be indeed reassuring for them.

Keep things normal

Don’t allow the illness to define your relationship. Talk about everyday news and keep up your usual social habits.

Understanding rights and capacity

Adults have the legal right to make their own choices. This includes making ‘unwise’ decisions that worry you.

Mental Capacity

The Mental Capacity Act 2005 clearly outlines that we must assume a person’s capacity unless it is proven otherwise. If they understand the consequences, you cannot force them to accept help.

Safeguarding

If you perceive that your loved one is at immediate risk of harm or neglect, contact your local council. Ask for the adult social services safeguarding team.

Look after yourself

You need to be strong yourself in order to be helpful to others. Your wellbeing matters just as much as theirs.

Set your own boundaries

Be realistic about what you can do. You are a family member and not a professional carer

Seek support

Ask your local authority for a ‘Carer’s Assessment‘. This can lead to extra help or a break for you.

Join a community

Talking to other carers can reduce the pressure. Organisations, such as Carers UK offer great networks for sharing advice.

How can Cavendish Homecare help?

At Cavendish Homecare, we are experts in providing mental health homecare for clients who want to remain in their own homes. When it comes to your health and wellbeing, choosing the right homecare package is of utmost importance and navigating this process can be overwhelming. With Cavendish Homecare by your side, you’ll have the support you need to remain safely at home while enjoying elevated health and wellbeing.

If you would like to enquire about our homecare services, contact us on, 02030085210 or email us at info@cavendishhomecare.com.

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