Can you make someone get help with their mental health?

It can be worrying to see a loved one’s behaviour change over time. If you’ve noticed consistent shifts in their mood or habits, it might be a sign they’re struggling with their mental health and could benefit from support.

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Key Takeaways

Look for a variety of signs

A loved one struggling with their mental health may show a range of signs, not just a few. These can include physical changes like weight loss or new pain, behavioural changes like social withdrawal or irritability, and a decline in daily functioning, such as poor work performance or personal hygiene.

Start a conversation with care

When initiating a conversation about your concerns, it’s best to use “I” statements to express your feelings rather than making accusations. Find a private, quiet space to talk, and be prepared to listen without judgement.

Prioritise your well-being

Supporting someone with mental health issues can be draining. It’s crucial to set healthy boundaries and seek your own support from friends, family, or a professional. You can’t force someone to get help, so focus on what you can do and remember that your own mental health is just as important.

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Signs your loved one may be struggling with their mental health

If someone’s behaviour has become atypical for an extended period, it may be a clear indication that professional help is needed. While they might not immediately be willing to discuss their situation, initiating a conversation about mental health can be the crucial first step towards finding support.

Common signs of mental health problems:

• Weight loss, change in appetite or eating habits.
• Self-isolation, declining social events.
• Use of drugs and/or alcohol.
• Loss of interest in activities that used to bring them joy.
• Declining in appearance / personal hygiene.
• Excessive time spent in bed, feeling tired constantly.
• Easily irritable.
• Disrupted sleep patterns.
• Changes in work or school performance, such as a drop in grades or missing deadlines.
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness.
• Increased physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or chronic pain without a clear medical cause.

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How to start a conversation about mental health

It can be hard to know what to say. Here are some simple, non-confrontational ways to open up the topic and let them know you care.

Choose the right time and place

Find a private, quiet setting where you won’t be interrupted. Avoid high-stress moments or public places.

Use “I” statements

Frame your concerns around your own feelings to avoid making them feel accused. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve been acting strange,” try, “I’ve been feeling worried about you lately because I’ve noticed you seem more withdrawn.”

Listen without judgment

Be prepared to listen more than you talk. Your goal is to create a safe space for them to share, not to solve their problems. Acknowledge their pain by saying things like, “That sounds incredibly hard.”

What to do if someone doesn’t want my help?

It can be upsetting and frustrating when you see your friend or loved one you care about struggle with their mental health, yet they won’t accept any help. It’s understandable to feel powerless and sad, however, it’s important to respect their wishes and choices. Moreover, there are limits to what you can do to support another person.

Focus on what you can do, such as being patient, offering emotional support and reassurance, informing them that help is available and how to seek it when they’re ready. Make sure to look after yourself in the midst of it all.

As difficult as it may sound, you cannot force someone to talk to you, nor to get help or see a doctor. If they are over 18 and it’s not an emergency situation, as adults, people are responsible for making our own decisions.

The importance of boundaries and self-care

Supporting a loved one is a marathon, not a sprint. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for your own well-being and allows you to continue being a source of support without burning out.

Recognize your limits

It’s okay to say no to certain requests or to take a break when you feel overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to continue providing support.

Seek your own support

You don’t have to carry the burden alone. Talk to a friend, family member, or a professional therapist about what you are going through.

What is an emergency situation?

Your loved one may need to seek help more urgently, if they are having suicidal feelings that they feel they may act on, or have harmed themselves and need medical attention or if they are potentially putting someone else at risk of serious harm.

If they are not safe to stay by themselves, you or a responsible person should stay with them and where required, help them call 999 for an ambulance. Alternatively, if the situation permits, help them get to A&E and offer to stay with them until they can be seen by a doctor.

You can obtain a quick medical advice by contacting NHS 111 England or NHS 111 Wales and select the appropriate option to access a 24/7 helpline for urgent mental health support.

If you or others feel in danger, call 999 and ask for the police to intervene, it is important put your safety first. Should you feel there may be a mental health crisis and the need for help for a loved one in the future, Mind UK has a page dedicated to planning for crisis.

Useful resources

Samaritans – 116 123 – free from any phone

SANEline – 0300 304 7000 – if you’re experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm–10pm every day)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK – 0800 689 5652 – 6pm to midnight every day

CALM – 0800 58 58 58 – if you’re affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts

text SHOUT to 85258 – confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help

Papyrus HOPELINEUK – for under 35s

At Cavendish Homecare we are experts in providing mental health care at home  for clients who want to remain in their own homes. When it comes to your health and well-being, choosing the right homecare package is of utmost importance and navigating this process can be overwhelming. With Cavendish Homecare by your side, you’ll have the support you need to remain safely at home while enjoying elevated health and wellbeing.

If you would like to enquire about our homecare services, contact us on, 02030085210 or email us at info@cavendishhomecare.com.

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